"If I Just Lose the Weight..." – Healing the Wound Society Planted in Us

Since I was nine years old, I’ve been at war with my weight.
That war began on a family vacation, during a time when I needed love, comfort, and safety — and received neglect instead. I turned to food because it was the only comfort that was available to me. I was a child trying to survive emotional pain and like so many girls and women, I learned to self-soothe with something society would later punish me for: my body.

That’s where it started — but it certainly didn’t end there.

The weight loss industry, the media, beauty standards and social conditioning all joined in. They built an entire system to reinforce the belief that our worth is directly tied to the number on the scale.

As women, we’ve been fed this narrative from every direction:
✨ If I just lose the weight, I’ll meet the love of my life.
✨ If I just lose the weight, I’ll finally feel confident enough to show up for my dreams.
✨ If I just lose the weight, I’ll be accepted, seen and safe.

I believed those things for years. And it wasn't just the weight I was battling — it was my sense of self-worth. That sneaky, persistent whisper: You’re not good enough yet. You will be... when you're smaller.

Let’s be clear: This is not our fault.
This is a small-t trauma created by a culture that has profited from our pain and disconnection from ourselves. It's a wound that keeps us from showing up, taking space and feeling whole. And it has dictated far too many of our choices for far too long.

It’s time to break that cycle.

Recently, a health coach I know — a woman! — said to me, “Oh, they’re even starting to put big people in commercials now.”
Even she had internalized the fatphobia we’ve all been taught. We’ve been conditioned to shame and judge bodies, including our own.

And I’m calling time on it.

Our worth is not dependent on our size.
We are not broken.
We do not need to shrink to be loved, seen or successful.

What we need is healing.

That wound — the one created by years of dieting, self-loathing and shame — can be released. We can heal the part of ourselves that was taught to believe we’re only worthy when we’re thin.

If you’re a woman who’s spent her life dieting, obsessing, hiding or waiting — I see you. I am you.
And I want to work with you. I want to help you reclaim your worth and rewrite your story.

Here’s my invitation:

Work with me. Coach with me. Heal with me.

As a gesture of support and solidarity, I’m offering 50% off any of my services to women who are ready to stop dieting and start living.
Just use the code DIET at checkout.

Because you don’t need another weight loss program.
You need to be reminded: You are valuable as you are.

It’s time to stop shrinking to fit someone else’s mold.
It’s time to heal.
It’s time to remember who you are.

With love and empowerment,
Kim Murphy