Interrupting the Pattern: One Thought at a Time

Last week, we talked about awareness. Awareness is where healing begins. Becoming aware of the way you speak to yourself.

The treatment you accept.
The stories you tell yourself.
The limits you've placed on your life.

We can't change what we don't see. But..... once we become aware of a pattern, something beautiful happens. We have a choice. We can continue the pattern OR interrupt it.

Where Did These Limits Come From?

When we were born, we didn't come into this world believing we weren't enough or believe we were too much. Nor did we believe had to earn love, approval or belonging.

We learned those things. Over time, through experiences, environments, relationships and circumstances, we began to collect beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.

Some of those beliefs helped us, some rotected us and some quietly became self-limiting beliefs.

Not because they were true - at some point, they felt necessary.

Our nervous systems are designed to protect us. They are constantly scanning for danger and looking for ways to keep us safe. The challenge is that our nervous system doesn't always know the difference between a real danger and an old story. If something once felt unsafe, our mind and body may continue treating it as a threat long after the danger has passed.

My Lesson on a Warship

Last weekend, I took my grandson to tour a warship. He was fascinated. He climbed every ladder, explored every compartment and saw every inch of the ship he was allowed.

The only problem, I have a fear of heights. At one point, we came to a ladder that looked nearly straight down into the ship. My immediate thought was: "Nope. I'm not doing that."

My body tensed. Terrified, I looked for another way. There wasn't one. My grandson was already heading down, I took so long he peered up the ladder wondering where I was.

So I climbed down.

Do you know what happened?

I was fine.

Not only was I fine, but when it came time to climb back up, it wasn't nearly as frightening as I had imagined.

The second time felt easier. (Yes! I went down that same scary ladder a second time!)

The story I had been telling myself was far scarier than the experience itself. Isn't that true of so many things in life?

The Power of the Pause

Most of us live on autopilot.

A thought appears - we believe it.
A fear shows up - we listen to it.
A criticism enters our mind - We accept it as truth.

But what if you paused?

What if the next time you caught yourself thinking: "I'm not good enough."

You paused.

What if the next time you thought: "I always mess things up."

You paused.

What if instead of immediately believing the thought, you became curious about it?

Where did that belief come from?
Is it actually true?
Who taught me that?
What evidence do I have that says otherwise?

That pause creates space and inside that space is where change begins.

Start Watering What You Want to Grow

Many women spend their days noticing everything they didn't do. The laundry that's still sitting there, the project that's unfinished, the call they forgot to make, the goal they haven't reached yet.

What if we interrupted that pattern? Instead of focusing on the ten things you didn't accomplish, you noticed the twenty-five things you did?

What if instead of replaying your mistakes, you acknowledged your successes?

What if you started watering the thoughts you want to grow?

The old saying is that the grass is greener where you water it. The same is true for your thoughts. The more attention you give to your strengths, your progress, your resilience and your worth, the more those pathways begin to grow.

One Gentle Step at a Time

We all want instant change. We want to wake up tomorrow and feel confident, peaceful and free. Healing rarely happens that way, it happens one awareness at a time, one pause at a time, one breath at a time, one interrupted pattern at a time.

Be patient with yourself.

The beliefs you've carried for years won't disappear overnight. But! Every time you pause and choose a different thought, you're creating a new path forward. Those small changes eventually become a transformed life.

If you'd like support in calming your nervous system, releasing old patterns and remembering who you truly are, I'd love to help.

Because my purpose is simple:

To help women regulate their nervous systems, rise above self-limiting beliefs, remember who they are to create the wonderful life they so richly deserve.

— Kim Murphy
It's A Wonderful Life Coaching