What Does It Mean to Come Home to Yourself?

For 36 days, I didn't sleep in my own home.

I was dog sitting, running my recruiting business, running my coaching business, apartment hunting, working, taking care of things and doing what needed to be done.

I did it, because that's what we do, right?

We get up.
We go to work.
We answer the emails.
We take care of people.
We keep the commitments.
We deal with whatever lands in front of us.
We push through.

Nike has made billions telling us to do it, sometimes that's exactly what we need.

But sometimes we become so good at doing it that we don't notice what all that doing is costing us.

I didn't.

Until I came home.

And Then My Body Said No

I walked through my own door after 36 days away and something changed. It was almost as though my entire body went: Ahhhhhhh.

I was home, suddenly the body that had been cooperating with me for 36 days had a few things to say.

No, no, no, no, no. We're done.

I was exhausted, my back was bothering me. I tried to do my weights because I love lifting weights. It's something I regularly do for myself. My body said no. I tried again the next day. Still no.

I didn't argue with it.
I didn't tell myself I was falling behind.
I didn't decide missing two workouts meant anything about me.

I listened. One night, I went to bed at 7:30 p.m. My body had been waiting for me to stop long enough to hear it.

Apparently it had a lot to say.

There's Something About Home

It got me thinking about why I chose the words Coming Home to Yourself in the first place.

Home means something to us.
Home is where you close the door behind you and exhale.
Home is where you don't have to be “on.”
Home is where you put your things down.
Home is where you kick off your shoes.

And let's be completely honest... Home is where the bra comes off. 😂

Women know exactly what I mean. A friend calls at 8 p.m. “Do you want to go out?” Nope. Bra's off. That's it. The day is officially over. There is no coming back from that. 😂

It's funny because so many of us understand that feeling.

It's not really about the bra.
It's about what it represents.

I'm home.

I don't have to perform anymore.
I don't have to be anywhere.
I don't have to look a certain way.
I don't have to respond to everything.
I can finally be.

That's exactly what I mean when I talk about coming home to yourself.

What If You Could Feel That Way Inside Yourself?

I realized I didn't want home to only be a physical place. I wanted to feel at home in me. I wanted that same exhale. That same freedom. That same feeling of:

Ahhhh. Here I am.

Coming home to yourself is learning to notice when you're tired before you completely run out of gas.

It's hearing your own no.
It's trusting your yes.
It's changing your mind.
It's putting something down.
It's realizing someone else's urgency doesn't automatically have to become yours.
It's resting when rest is what you need.
It's laughing loudly.
It's knowing what you like.
It's having an opinion.
It's wanting something and allowing yourself to want it.
It's saying yes because you mean yes rather than because it's what you've always done.

Sometimes it's skipping the weights for two days because your body has made it very clear that today is not the day. These aren't enormous transformations. They're little moments when you begin listening to yourself again.

We Get Very Good at Pushing Through

I think a lot of women know this feeling.

We can be exhausted and still get everything done.
We can be overwhelmed and still show up.
We can be worried and still take care of everybody.
We can have a hundred things going on and still answer: “I'm fine.”
We become incredibly good at functioning.

We're functioning, we may not notice how tired we actually are. That's what struck me about these past 36 days.

I was doing it. (again!)
I wasn't lying in bed unable to function.
I was working.
I was caring for the dogs.
I was running my businesses.
I was looking for an apartment.
I was handling my life.

My body kept going because I kept asking it to keep going. Then I came home. The door closed, the demands stopped.... my body finally had enough quiet to say: Okay, Kim. Now we're going to rest.

So I did.

Coming Home Isn't Another Thing to Accomplish

This is important to me. I don't want Coming Home to Yourself to become another item on a woman's list.

Great. Now I have to work, take care of everybody, exercise, drink my water, meditate AND come home to myself. No.

This isn't another performance, it's the opposite. Beginning to notice the moments when you're pushing because you've always pushed.

It's creating enough space to ask: What do I need right now?

Sometimes the answer will be movement.
Sometimes it will be laughter.
Sometimes you'll want company.
Sometimes you'll want to be left alone.
Sometimes you'll want to take on the world.
Sometimes you'll want your pajamas, your couch and everyone to leave you the heck alone.

The point isn't what the answer is. The point is that you heard yourself ask the question.

I'd Love to Invite You Home

On September 16th at 7 p.m., I'm holding my free masterclass, Coming Home to Yourself.

I'm going to share some of the things I've learned about why we get caught in these patterns and why knowing we want something to change doesn't always make changing it easy.

More importantly, I'm going to give you some simple tools you can use when you're anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted or life simply feels like too much.

You don't have to arrive knowing what you need.
You don't have to have anything figured out.
You don't have to become somebody new.

You bring yourself.

We'll start there.

Maybe you'll begin to experience a little more of that feeling I had when I finally walked through my door this week:

Ahhhhhhh. I'm home. 💗